I think therefore I pay homage?

March 28, 2009 - Saturday
I think, therefore I pay homage? Current mood:contemplative. Category: Blogging
Ok, I have no idea what to put as the subject of this blog. This is a tribute, an homage to a friend who inspires me to think, to feel, and to take the words out of my head and put them on paper. My friend writes wonderful blogs that say exactly what I have felt or am feeling. It will sound weird to say this, but it's nice to know that someone else is thinking and feeling the same way I do. Maybe, just maybe I am not so crazy, so alone. I think they said once before and this is one of the things that attracted me to them, "I am unique like everyone else." Please forgive me if I got the quote wrong, my memory isn't all that great, but you get the idea. Anywho, for those of you who have been waiting for the next wave of brilliance and mixed up craziness that is in my brain, here it is. The subject isn't original, but the thoughts and opinions stated are mine and mine alone. It's not perfect, but it's me. More ramblings from an insecure mind to follow. I've been thinking way too much lately, but have also become acquainted with someone who inspires me to think, to be creative and get "unstuck."

Enjoy ---

A friend of mine writes about hard lessons learned.
Hard lessons…sigh, these are the things that life is made of, these are the things that we must endure in order to grow, these are the things that make us stronger, tougher, braver, better and smarter, even if you are a little worse for the wear, right?....
If we are to learn from them, then why do we continue to make the same mistakes and wrong choices over and over and over again? Why do we continually see the “Danger, No diving allowed” sign and yet we pull off our clothes like fearless children and jump in feet first anyway?....
My friend describes themself as, “tired, weary and worn; tattered and torn.” ....
These hard lessons do take their toll. It’s like getting punched in the stomach repeatedly by the junior high bully, day after day after day. Eventually you reach the breaking point. You want to fight back but by then you are too tired, too weak, too everything. You start to believe the lies and convince yourself that they are true until they become truth; your truth. ....
We go through life, a series of “meaningless collisions.” Some of these collisions are happy accidents leaving you fulfilled, trusting, exuberant! Some are minor fender benders. You’re left a little shaken up, but everything is intact and you move on. But the ones that really get you are the “I’ve just been hit by a dump truck with a trailer that was hit by a fully loaded concrete truck.” You’re not dead but bruised from shoulder to waist, knocked semi-unconscious and spend a few years in physical therapy just to regain some semblance of a normal life. ....
You wonder what you could have done to avoid being hit, blindsided. Did you see the signs? Take extra precaution to protect yourself? You hear the squeal coming from behind you, you look up to see what is going on and next thing you know you’re on the phone with the friend who “tried to warn you.” They don’t say those words that you dread to hear, “I told you so.” Instead they comfort you, time after time after time. Or, you sit alone staring at the walls, the sky, the strange stain on the carpet that you will one day investigate, wondering, “How did I get here again?” Why didn’t I learn from the last time? Why couldn’t I see the pattern; why couldn’t I get out while the getting was good?....
You eventually learn the lesson, but it comes with a price. You come back to the “Danger, No diving allowed” sign and you stop. You think, you look before you leap. You allow yourself to be enveloped in the passion of being fulfilled, exuberant but a little less trusting. You know there is a chance the next time you may not be so lucky, but you believe. The exhilaration, the rush of jumping in with both feet and feeling the warmth settle over you like a cloak. You believe that things are going to be different this time and that you can control your environment and at most, you may get into another little fender bender, but that’s okay. Life goes on. You’re stronger, tougher, braver, smarter, better and a little worse for the wear. But you are living and learning and that makes the hard lessons of the past worth what you will experience in the future. And you’ll always have that one person that will be there to hold your hand and help you heal. You’ll always have the ability to comfort yourself, cry a few tears, put pen to paper and do what it is that you need to do to help heal the wounds and move on to the next hard lesson. It’s waiting for you, embrace it!....

Asia - Don't Cry

Hard times you had before you
I knew when I first saw you
You girl you’ve always been mistreated, cheated
So leave it all behind you
It took so long to find you
I know that we can last forever, ever and more, more, oh

Don’t Cry now that I’ve found you
Don’ Cry take a look around you
Don’t Cry it took so long to find you
Do what you want, but little darling please Don’t Cry

I knew I’d never doubt itI
was so sure about it
Don’t think of all that’s been before
I’ll hear you when you’re calling
I’ll catch you when you’re falling
Don’t worry I will always be there, like never before, or, oh

Ok, this is the song I am listening to at the moment. Thanks 'Tater! You some how know just what I need to hear.

Currently reading:If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and LiberationBy Janine Latus